Greetings human filth! It is I, Oderus Urungus, lord and master of this world and everything that crawls, falls, and balls upon it! Coming at ‘cha with yet another chapter in the continuing saga that is this site. Currently you will find your warty overlord on the road, playing what is going to go down in history as the coolest concert event of the summer—the Sounds of the Underground tour! After two years of playing the “halftime show”, the powers that be have finally realized that the only place for GWAR is at the top of the heap! And GWAR responds to the challenge with yet another show of titanic proportion. Dog’s balls will be licked and fingered, rival’s heads shall decorate poles, fans will be slaughtered at an alarming rate, and in addition to that we will actually be playing music! As usual, there are a slew of cool bands on the bill. Hail to Chimaira, back with us on SOTU! Of particular interest is the inclusion of our buddies, Goat Whore, on this years line-up. Love that band, love those guys. I’m so glad they didn’t drown when New Orleans got soaked. So come out, support metal, and donate your life to GWAR and the only festival tour with the balls to book us! In the meantime here’s a little piece of art I did for some weirdo in Holland. A self portrait, inspired by the movie 300!

Finally, because you asked for it, or more like we said you could have it and never showed it to you, GWAR and LabProductions
present the latest and greatest GWAR video, directed by the amazing Chris Trainor in the bowels of hell somewhere beneath
New Orleans, Slave Pit is proud to present "Eighth Lock"

About halfway done with our Europe tour. See you this summer when GWAR headlines
the Sounds of the Underground summer festival tour!

GWAR UK/ EUROPEAN BEYOND HELL TOUR '07

Straight Outta Antarctica—Today

From the beer-can and dirty needle filled coffin of ODERUS URUNGUS…

(slave note: this is not really a written statement from Oderus Urungus, this is just the mumblings that a few of us slaves heard when we were spreading crack around his crypt, trying to wake him up for the next tour. And yes we can write, what do you think we are, a bunch of cavemen?)

With the fart-flecked fecal finality of an entire planet full of sundered sphincters, spackling scat all the while, the crack-crazed MASTERS of monster metal AND your VERY FUCKING SOUL (yes, it's true!)…GWAR smugly announces the latest assault in the continuing campaign of chaos that is the BEYOND HELL TOUR 2007! EUROPE MUST BE DESTROYED!!! I've had it with these guys! Recently some tourists from Antarctica went to Europe (which is apparently one big country now) on a much deserved vacation and were immediately thrown in some sort of weird jail where people came around and just looked at ‘em through the bars…now whether or not this has anything to do with these friends of mine being penguins, I don't know but I am coming to bust ‘em out (even though they don't want to leave, as they are being treated very well…)…GWAR is returning to Europe for a bloody re-union with our faithful fans—and there hasn't been such a promising blood-letting since Pepin the Small saved France from the Muslims! The new album has just been released over there and we are returning to a filth-ridden shithole near you…oh that's right I'm not talking about a U.S. tour…NO! GWAR is returning to Europe, Lordi beware!

Whats up scum! It is I, ME, that dude...ODERUS URUNGUS, Lord of Earth and now everything that is beneath it. After an unmitigatedly relentless year of bloodletting and debauchery, after endless touring followed by more shows, GWAR decided to take a little break from breaking things and concentrate on our drinking. But such pleasures don't stand alone for long! Drunkeness must be combined with sex, violence and ear-splitting METAL, or all is lost! So that means...you guessed it, more touring! The brothers in hate that form the most destructive band in world history have begun to stir in the bowels of our Antarctic stronghold, preparing for another phase in our endless campaign of dominance and destruction. So look for another year colossal carnage in continuing support of our layest and greatest album, BEYOND HELL!

First off, prepare yourself for the release of the second video from BEYOND HELL--prepare yourself for "Eighth Lock", without a doubt the sickest GWAR video ever. But don't expect to see it on Headbangers Ball, it's so full of blood and sloppy buckets of curdled monkey cum that it is going straight to YouTube....very soon! Here's a little shot of the boys on set. We're so hot!

The final touches are being put on it even as I break endless keyboards with my violent typing. So look for an announcement within the next week as to where you can find it. But that's not all of the video shit I've been up too...check gwar.net for silly shit I did for Blender and AOL. And here's a ridiculous little ditty I did for my patrons at MarsGolf--the first and hopefully not last Oderus golfing video. Boy, you can tell I was smoking a lot of pot that day! Just look up "MarsGolf GWAR" on YouTube and you'll go straight to it. Or something. Besides that we are gearing up for yet another year of relentless touring--off to Europe in March, then back to America for a summer festival tour of some sort (soon to be announced, but I think you know the only summer tour with the balls to book GWAR, and it ain't Ozz-fest or the Warped tour)! Then back to Europe for two festivals in August (first over there in years), and finally a huge co-headlining tour this fall (also TBA but it is going to be a fucking HUGE line-up)! Hurumph, I say, while farting loudly, large pieces of hot turd exploding from my wretched ass! So look for another year of torment from your sloppy masters...we love it, and can't wait to spread anal syphllis on an intercontinental scale! But now the pleasures of the all-you-can-rape midget buffet beckons...I'm outta here, but have no fear--GWAR shall be amongst ye soon!

Dec. 8th, 2007...Somewhere on the road...The BEYOND HELL tour is reaching it's blood-soaked conclusion! Everynight our fine following of fanatical BOHABS and GWAR BITCHES has paid the ultimate price for their years of devotion to GWAR---they have died! Thus ends another completely triumphant tour, but once again we have failed to destroy the human race. Oh well, if we did that, no one would come to our shows! But I dither. Let's move on to some breaking news that is just in...

Slave Pit is proud to present the rebirth of MIND CONTROL MONTHLY. You may remember MCM as the not-quite-monthly fanzine concerned with all things GWAR and Slave Pit. It languished and died some time in the mid-90's, and it's passing was lamented by many. Well, then Al Gore invented the internet! So MCM is back! Thats right kiddies, Hellspawn, our ally in evil and manager of BOHAB CENTRAL, has pledged to rebuild this venerated institution of GWAR, and I, ODERUS URUNGUS, have pledged my full support to this endeavor. Which should mean little more than contributing this! Use MCM to keep up with the latest lies and deciet coming out of the Fortress of your infernal overlords, the mighty GWAR! For example, what follows is some of that breaking news that I mentioned earlier...

While passing through New Orleans, GWAR hooked up with LabProductions, House of Shock, and The Louisiana Film Initiative to produce the latest and what is going to go down in history as the greatest GWAR video ever made! Apparently New Orleans wasn't completely wiped out Katrina, and the local community responded heartily to the challenge of rising from the ashes and showing the world that they had returned with a vengeance! And what better way of doing that than by volunteering the services of 100 + New Orleans artists, providing the location of the famed horror attraction House of Shock, and getting the sickest band in the world (us) to provide you with the ultimate track from their bone-crushing new album (GWAR, Eighth Lock), in order to make the sickest GWAR video ever! And dammit if that's not exactly what we did! Here's a link to a bunch of super cool production stills! Then after shooting all day, GWAR made a beelibne to the famed House of BLues where we gave one of the greateset shows in our fucking history, and it was all because of the city of New Orleans--we love you, and when the planet Earth is finally destroyed, you will be spared!

Greetings wretch! It is I, ME, ODERUS, your lord and master!

Back for the very pits of
Hell to offer you painful abuse and random suffocation...and all the while touring
with the sickest band in history! Of course I am talking about my band,
OUR band, the band we have all loved and died for ...THE MIGHTY GWAR! VS.

in the biggest, sickest, most glorious GWAR tour ever! THE ONE THAT WILL NOT BE
NAMED HAS BEEN...NAMED...
JEWCIFER LIVES!

(thanks to inertia productions for the photo, but you don't have to put the logo right in the middle of the cool shit!)

Here's a red-hot update! GWAR will be shooting a video to the song "8th Lock", and it's going to be the sickest GWAR video EVER. We are shooting at New Orleans famed HOUSE OF SHOCK, plus at the show at 'Nawlin's House of Blues that night! And it's our first time back to the Big Easy since it's near-destruction...so if you are lucky enough to be planning on going to that show, you might end up in our new video!

Just to clear up some shit, let me eat it....O.K , only a few pounds, and from that midget from the Geico commercial. It may please you to know I have liberated the "cavemen" from that commercial, and brought them to Antarctica, where they are even as I speak are living a life of opulence and ease. I mean, they have suffered enough. Geez, I'm watching too much human television. ANYWAY we are out on our massive "Beyond Hell" tour, ravaging all that stand before us in our savage, yet brutal, caress. City after city burn with the very flames of Hell, and yet you continue to throw yourselves upon our blazing altar of syphllis. "Beyond Hell", our heaviest album ever, is now infecting the world, and GWAR answers the call with our most ground-devouring tour yet! North America shall reel beneath our boundless wrath! And so far no News Years Eve Show, we finally get the night off...YOU can entertain US for a change. Then GWAR shall return to Europe in the early part of 2007, returning again in the summer for festivals of barbaric proportion, to continue the merciless re-conquest of the old country that we began last year! Asia beckons like a far-away whore, Australia, South America.... "Beyond Hell" is a world-wide release, and that means there are no limits to the swath of destruction GWAR shall reap across your world "o" filth!

More specifically, no, I don't know when and if we are going to do another video from "Beyond Hell". We'd like to, especially the song "Eighth Lock", which we wanted to do from the start, and make it super-sick...but we listened to the label, who was bugging the shit out of us to do a cover of some sort. They felt that perhaps a cover could break GWAR into mainstream radio and sell a buttload of records. Ridiculous! So we started trying to figure out what cover...first we thought "Everybody Hurts" by R.E.M. would be good...then I had the idea of doing "If You Want Blood" from AC/DC...in the video we would resurrect Bon Scott from the dead and replace that lame fucker Brian Johnson and his stupid hat. You know what the label said? "Nobody knows who Bon Scott is." ????????? So anyway when I was really fucked up they snuck up on me and somehow shot the "Schools Out" video while I wasn't looking! Not that I'm complaining that much. It's getting played on Headbangers quite a bit, and even had some decent radio success, and we are selling more albums, but it just doesn't represent the true heavy hatred of the real body of work that is "Beyong Hell"....but you guys know that already! So get out there and get all of your lameass friends who secretly love GWAR as much as you do to actually buy this record and blast the fuck out of it! I command it!

Finally, last night in Albany, N.Y., we had what I call "The Grandmother Show". Three generations of GWAR fans from one family. Rico, his Mom, and HER MOM all showed up in their GWAR best to enjoy the festivities. I knew this would happen one day but not so soon! I guess now we have the "Great-Grandmother Show" to look forward to...I'm out, gotta hit the stage and take some heads with me. It's fun being me. Even when some douch in Norfolk pegged me with a golf ball! Hey numbnuts, I'm Oderus! Indestructible yet erudite! And I'm on a mother-fucking roll!

AND NOW ON TO THE REST OF THE SITE!

It has begun! Sounds of the Underground has started it's bludgeoning progress across North America. Regulated to the "halftime show", slot again, this year we get an extra 5 minutes to play! Meanwhile, just about every other band of last years SOTU is on this year's Oz-Fest. Gotta love this business. because if you didn't, you'd go insane. So far none of the other bands are dicks and the food has been good. But that won't stop me from making a blood bath and beyond of every human I come in contact with. So when yer watching your other favorite cool bands at this years SOTU, remember they have been re-animated. Keep up with the latest from the summer's coolest tour at Sounds of the Underground

The new album is out Aug. 29th, I think! And damned if "School's Out" isn't getting some good airplay! Like real radio stations, like those Clear Channel ones...DON'T WORRY, I could care less....what's important is that YOU, the faithful Bohab, know that the only reason we did this silly cover (and the equally silly video soon to come) is to LURE in new legions of fans who have hardly ever even heard of GWAR, save for shadowy rumors of death and depravity. Supposedly a DJ in Louisville, KN., actually QUIT HIS JOB when a Clear Channel program director forced him to play GWAR, and that's gotta be a good thing. So keep supporting the summer's coolest cover and helping GWAR pave the way for the looming release of our greatest record yet, BEYOND HELL, produced by Devin Townsend!

Here's some cool new shit that we have to sell you. That Bloodbath and Beyond is pretty fucking good, I mean I am one funny mother fucker. And remember if that's not enough for you then maybe you need to check out Slave Pit Television for the very latest is our asinine antics! Here's a "Call and Response" review I did for some zine you'll never read. I didn't know the bands at all, with a few exceptions.

What's up. Oderus Urungus here. When I got this “call and response” thing, I immediately got offended, and then quickly violent. The temerity, the impertinence! To think that you could just “call” out to Oderus, ruler of Earth, and he would ‘respond” to you. Maybe with a sword to the head! So I smashed through the wall and worked over the local police department for a couple of hours. After the city was in flames I finally realized that there was something to this request after all—I could take the opportunity to thrash and malign others, as only I can. Cool! I hate everybody, especially bands that people like. I mean to think that people make music and record it and listen to it….well, it's nauseating. And considering that I don't even know who did these songs makes it even better—maybe I can piss off some people that I am on tour with! So here we go….

“Hard Rock Hallelujah” O.K., I had heard this song before…it's Lordi, right? Wow, this song sucks. This is the band that everybody is making such a fuss over? Why? There's nothing new here. Sounds like Billy Idol or Def Leppard but with neither of these acts talent. Very slick production that only accentuates this songs asinine nature. A message of mediocrity against a backdrop of the banal. Of course I heard they have some cool costumes…apparently they dress up like GWAR. But that sucks. I always hated bands that dressed up on stage in stupid costumes. I mean if your music sucks then fuck off. What's that you say? Hey buddy, these are my CLOTHES.

“The Day I Tried to Live” Wow, where do I start…O.K., I really hated it. Here's why--why the fuck is this band covering Soundgarden song? The song is not that old and this version is not that different than the original. What's the fucking point? If there is one it's retarded.

“Miss Murder” I didn't hate it, and once again I have no clue who the hell this band is. I think it must be one of those emo/screamo/ kind of bands that everybody is always bitching about. I think people are just jealous because a lot of these bands are getting rich. I don't really get the whole wearing girls pants thing. But who the hell am I to judge anyone, I've got a dead midget hanging out of my ass. So back to the song, well, let me listen to it again…O.K. I didn't hate it.

“The League of Extraodinary Graverobbers” Now this is more like it! Lot of bands sound like this and I love ‘em all. There really isn't a much better way to say FUCK YOU to the world than to play bands like this REALLY LOUD. But once again my ignorance is showing because I have no clue who this is…sounds like Carcass, so I'll just pretend it is. I love Carcass! I'm pretty interested know, so what the hell, lets Google it…OK, I know I just cheated, but that's O.K. cuz' now General Surgery has a new fan, maybe, unless I buy the record and hear basically a complete Carcass rip-off, which is kinda what I am starting to suspect already. Who gives a shit anyway.

“Promiscuous Girl” This odious little dittie concerns Nelly and his attempts to fuck some bitch that seems to think her shit doesn't stink. Basically he tells her he wants to nail her and she tell's him she's not a ho. Then they go shopping or something. Then I think he fucks her. This song would have been a lot better with a big Eazy-E (back from the dead) guest appearance. He coulda slapped the shit out of this bitch the second she fucking started running her trap, then shoved his cock down her throat. The rest of his crew forces Nelly, at gunpoint, to his knees to watch the whole thing. Eazy blasts the ‘ho with a UZI, and then makes Nelly suck off his pit-bull! This is getting good. Damn, I'm great.

“Hyperventilation System” – Not only do I not know what the name of this band is, I don't know what kind of band this band is trying to be… I listened to this song over and over again and definitely felt confused, but not overtly hateful. I mean, if the lead singer had been in the room I wouldn't have killed him outright, I would have asked about his band and then rammed a sword through his eye socket. I mean, if this is your idea of good music, and you like it, then you will enjoy it…right?…I was kinda on the fence for a while, but I heard the word “Satan” in the song and decided it was cool. Then I listened again and wasn't so sure. Moving on.

“Brand New” Kinda cool, sorta Helmut-ty Prong-y kinda vibe. Drums really sound like crap though. No room sound, no warmth. Sounds like it was recorded in a can. Very tinny. No sub-attack. Poor recording of a cool band. Who the fuck is it though? I will probably Google it later.

“Not Alone” The best thing about this song is that it is the last one! After a completely gay beginning, the song gets heavy in a way that was hideously reminiscent of Nickleback. You just know the singer is a complete jerk with a girlfriend who's a famous actress. May this band perish in a horrific tour bus accident. Pure shit.

Oderus Urungus, SOTU 2005

That's right bitches, the best ass in Rock is back onstage for another summer of revolting fun!

Come get defiled by the living gods of your Earth, doomed to die!

Come get shit spattered on you from 5 directions at once! Come worship GWAR and your death will be easier!

Come to see a lot of other cool bands as well.

OK scum, it is I, ODERUS URUNGUS, overlord of Toilet Earth and lead singer of the most dangerous band on this or any other planet--GWAR! Here to give you a quick update/review on the upcoming events and disasters that are set to plague this planet in the wake of GWAR's latest assault upon your sense and sensibility!

First off, it's DONE! "BEYOND HELL" our latest and greatest studio release to date, is mixed and mastered and ready to drop on your heads! Produced by the amazing Devin Townsend, I can say with utmost confidence that this one is going to take yer fucking head off! The record doesn't get released til' Aug. 29th but that is not going to stop us from letting you hear the first single from the album. That's right, we actually have done a single for radio play in a desperate attempt to expand GWAR's dominion of this world to the FM airwaves! But what's this you say? That GWAR's music is simply TOO FUCKED UP to ever make it on the radio--well, yer right! And that's why, for the first time in GWAR history, we have covered someone else's music! But not just anybody! Nobody less than Alice Cooper, who is rumored to be a Scumdog himself! GWAR pays homage to the original master of shock rock, with a bone-crushing version of his most famous song--that's right, GWAR has covered "School's Out" as the anthem of the summer and the rallying cry for legions of fed-up drop-outs everywhere. Demand it from your local lame-ass radio station all summer long, and hear us play it live on the mammoth Sounds of the Underground tour, coming soon to a burning city near you! And just to catch you up on the various other GWAR activities, Slave Pit Television is going strong, with new chapters being added every week! The new video, "Bloodbath and Beyond", will be out this summer! As I mentioned earlier, we will be dominating the Sounds of the Underground tour all summer, and then this fall go on a HUGE headline tour. Plus I've had my pet hemmorhoid "Blinky" replaced with several more that are even nastier. Rejoice children, it's almost time---GWAR will amongst you soon!

Nice place! Wonder who lives there, and what the fuck it's doing here?

Slave Pit Central, March 23 rd , 2006

Everyone (except everybody else) was ecstatic when GWAR put out “Violence Has Arrived” in 2001—it marked GWAR's triumphant return to metal, and the world breathed a collective sigh of relief that we hadn't put out another “We Kill Everything”, no matter how much they might have enjoyed having sex with animals! Ecstasy turned to unbridled glee when GWAR put out “War Party” in 2004, because it was obvious to all that GWAR was going to keep it heavy. “War Party” led to the best year in GWAR's blood-soaked history—people were forced to accept the fact that not only did GWAR put on the greatest show on this or any other planet, but they were also a musical force to be reckoned with. Some 240+ shows later, GWAR returned to the frozen waste of Antarctica with a 9-ton crack boulder, ready to plan the next phase in their never-ending yet ultimately futile campaign to destroy the planet and escape earth once and for all. Well, the crack boulder is down to a mere half-ton, so it is time—time for GWAR to return to realms of man with a new album, show, and all kinds of other cool shit to appease your lust for all things GWAR. So here is a brief explanation of what to expect and look forward to in what is shaping up to be the biggest and sickest chapter in GWAR's crummy career of complete chaos.

First up, GWAR and Slave Pit are as pleased as a pimply porcupine to announce that none other than the incredible Devin Townsend (Strapping Young Lad, producer of about a million killer bands) will be co-producing the new GWAR record, tentatively entitled “Go to Hell!”. The bulk of the material is already completed, and recording at Flattus/Cory's Karma Studio's begins in early April. Then Oderus and Flattus will travel to the semi-frozen wasteland of Vancouver (in the bat-shaped helicopter, of course), to mix and master what is without a doubt going to be the heaviest album in GWAR's discography. To ensure this every album will come with a large brick, that fans are encouraged to throw at someone. The concept of the album is the closest thing to a rock opera that GWAR has done since “Ragnarok”, and concerns GWAR's epic journey into the tunnels and caverns that honeycomb your world, a journey not only to escape their earthly prison “from within”, but also to find and confront this so-called “Satan”, who seems to think that he is a bigger bad ass than Oderus. Along the way GWAR encounter's a bevy of demonic dickheads and hapless victims, all ready to die for your entertainment. The album will also have a special “enhanced” section, with incredible behind-the-scenes footage and GWAR knows what else! Look for GWAR's latest and greatest album yet to hit the stores in September.

If you don't know already, GWAR is confirmed for this years Sounds of the Underground festival tour. GWAR will once again have the “halftime show” slot, and the line-up is fucking incredible. And the best part? No fucking emo! So look for the dreaded “Golf Cart of Death” on this summer's coolest festival tour! More or less around that time, Slave Pit and DRT will release a new DVD—titled “Bloodbath and Beyond”, this will be a behind and in front of the scenes history of all things GWAR and Slave Pit, including tons of rare and never-before scenes of consummate carnage. For example, you will witness the glory of “Filthy Chunks”, an unreleased porno movie filmed in the “Scumdogs” era, starring Oderus and the Sexecutioner, and a previously unheard of video for “Poor Old Tom”, directed (poorly) by Oderus Urungus. The DVD will be hosted by Oderus and Sleazy in a completely retarded “Siskel and Ebert” format. Yuks for all, you hump!

And now for something completely different. A man with three buttocks. This one is just silly. Apparently GWAR has been awarded a “Lifetime Achievement Award” by the Live Action Role Playing Society . This is a big deal! Tons of cool/famous/creative/completely geeked-out people are a part of this thing, and GWAR will be honored at a huge awards ceremony in Hollywood's Shrine Theater on April 29 th , 2006. But that's not even the best part—the pre-awards party is going to be held the night before at the Playboy mansion, where GWAR will actually perform 2 songs! Somebody pinch me!

Finally Slave Pit and Shocker Toys are proud to announce the release of a full-line of GWAR action-figures, meticulously crafted in painstaking detail by the very talented people at Shocker Toys. The figures will be released in three sets of three figures, and the schedule is as follows—

•  Oderus, Beefcake, and Techno-Destructo

•  Balsac, Jizmak, and Bozo-Destructo

•  Flattus, Slymenstra, and Sleazy P. Martini

Each set comes with a Slave, various weapons, and whatever instrument the enclosed figure plays (poorly). The first set will debut at this years San Diego Comic Con , with the follow-ups coming out soon after. GWAR fans play with dolls!

Other even murkier events and products are lurking just beneath the horizon, so don't you fret, faithful bohab! As you go through the mundane, banal, and nauseating minutia that comprises the sum total of your life, the GWAR slaves are working their asses off, preparing the war machines that GWAR will utilize in this latest and greatest assault upon your planet and the realms that lay below it. GWAR is coming, down your throat, up your butt, and all over Satan's tits (all seven of them). Prepare human filth, GWAR is going to hell, and we're taking you with us!

.

FEATURING YOUR HOST, ODERUS URUNGUS!!!!!!!!

Hey you greasy bung-mongers, I'm fucking back! Despite an entire year of non-stop murder, mayhem, and yes, blatant tomfoolery, GWAR has emerged from our trials semi-triumphant, sperm-spackled, and of course sexier than a bag of designer pig-dicks. Yes, once again, it is I, ODERUS URUNGUS, Lord and Master of this world and all the wretched creatures that writhe within it's bowels or squirm across it's surface (with the exception of my pet hemorrhoid, Blinky. He is MY master, and if you've ever had a hemorrhoid, you know what I mean). I'm here to re-cap what was one of the greatest years in GWAR's eternal journey and set the stage for this years debauchery- and it's going to fucking rule. Even though I have no idea what's going to happen.

The WAR PARTY is officially disbanded. Despite overwhelming support from the Muslim world, we have decided to forego our political aspirations and concentrate more on blowing AIDS- infested semen on underage gerbils. Fuck politics anyway. Pretending to be a political party didn't help much--as usual we failed to escape the planet, fell short of annihilating the entire human race, and couldn't even get an audition for “Celebrity Mouth-fuck”. But damn it we had a good time trying. I got eaten by Gor-Gor at least 250 times, chopped off countless heads (because I can't count), and pissed off Phil Anselmo. We returned to Europe , re-conquered Canada , and actually got on a festival tour (Sounds of the Underground, which we are already confirmed for this summer). That led to another headline tour, celebrating the 20 th anniversary of GWAR's de-thawing. In short, it was the busiest and most action-packed year in our blood-soaked history. And if I may be nice to you for one short moment, it was the undying devotion of the legions of GWAR fans out there that made it possible. Never in the history of rock has a band enjoyed the fanatical support of such a group of beautiful fucking freaks, especially when their heroes are trying to kill them. Sooner or later the entire world will be licking our toes, and your un-relenting support will be rewarded with an undying death. O.K., moment over, I hate you again.

So after a couple months of lying around the Slave Pit, we have raised ourselves from our shit-smeared divans and began the bloody business of preparing ourselves for the next onslaught of GWAR. You want details? You want song titles? Well forget it. But even as I type (breaking hundreds of computers in the process), the grinding gears of Slave Pit are inexorably preparing to unleash yet another onslaught upon your much-ravaged world, an onslaught that will hopefully be the final chapter in the sordid epic that chronicles GWAR's domination and eventual destruction of this place, our adopted home, this Toilet Earth. So enjoy this, the hush before the storm, because before you know it a worm-spewing goat penis is going to be rammed down you throat! Stay tuned, scum!

Forged in the furnaces of the Master's Slave-Pits. Created to be the most destructive force in the universe. Banished to Earth for colossal crimes too hideous to be named. GWAR, the most bellicose band in cosmic history, is back from the frozen wasteland of Antarctica with their most searing musical assault to date-prepare yourself, human filth, for the metal mayhem that is GWAR's latest and greatest album to date--prepare yourself for "WAR PARTY".

GWAR is--
ODERUS URUNGUS--Throat-thing and two-handed sword
BALSAC THE JAWS OF DEATH--Guitar and bear-trap
JIZMAK THE GUSHA--Drums and brain-clotted club
FLATTUS MAXIMUS--Guitar and colossal gas
BEEFCAKE THE MIGHTY--Bass and massive war-axe

GWAR commands you to bow in utter and abject abeyance to the WAR PARTY. With one chop of a bloody battle-axe, GWAR decapitates the leadership of all political movements, and proclaims themselves the only and true overlords of this wretched planet and all beings that cling to it. GWAR bans all elections, successions, and religions, and orders all humans to join the WAR PARTY, under the battle standard of the mighty KROSSTIKA. The WAR PARTY declares war not only on terror but everything else as well. GWAR allies all warring factions into one great seething ball of hate, distributes free crack and nuclear weapons, and let's the killing begin. All this to the soundtrack of the apocalypse--WAR PARTY--with blistering tracks like "Krosstika" and "Womb With a View", your every orifice will explode with pus! Epic cuts like "Decay of Granduer" will have you writhing in masochistic glee, and from the moment you hear the hateful fury of the album's opening track, "Bring Back the Bomb", you'll be convinced that WAR PARTY is the most spine-shattering, kneecap-splitting, brain-boiling GWAR album ever!!!

ALBUM OUT, TOUR STARTS OCTOBER 26TH, 2004

THAT'S RIGHT WORMS. THE SICKEST BAND IN METAL HISTORY IS BACK WITH THEIR HEAVIEST ALBUM YET. 2004 SHALL GO DOWN AS THE TIME OF THE FINAL RECKONING--THE TIME OF THE KROSSTIKA. WHEN THE ENTIRE HUMAN RACE WENT MAD. "SPECICIDE"--A NEW WORD TO SAY.

OCTOBER 26TH SEES THE DAWN OF THIS FINAL DEATH. NEW ALBUM. NEW TOUR. AND THE GREATEST GWAR EVER. STEP BACK, MIDGET!

llustration by Maguire/Brockie

GWAR is currently gearing up for a huge 2004 including a new album, DVD, and relentless touring.
The fur begins to fly in April when GWAR embarks on their first coast-to-coast tour in over a year. Stay tuned for tour dates soon!

The Pit of Phlegm, Antarctica--the rumors began to muster like the bats twittering about the Tomb of Oderus--for too long have the demonic overlords of this planet slumbered in a drug-induced, narcoleptic stupor! For too long have they dithered and sputtered about with numerous "side-projects" of dubious merit, while their legions of loyal slaves waited faithfully for their Masters to come to their senses. Just as the wretched denizens of this Toilet Earth scream for the return of the punishment, so shall they receive the sadistic torment they so richly deserve. And we're just the guys to give it to you! Thats right, once again it's ME, Oderus Urungus, Lord and Master of all Earth (well, a lot of it...). I finally put that annoying Dave Brockie to death, after I heard he was running around the country playing in some crummy "band" named DBX, claiming to be me in disguise! Hurumph! After years of scraping the mung off of my dick-metal, I suppose he just lost whatever amount of control he had over his scabby mind, and was apparently convinced he could make a living off of his "music". Ha ha ha, that's a good one! Anyway, I smothered him with my buttcheeks and am all the happier for it. Who needs him (me)!

Damn! Broke another computer. That's O.K. I'm sponsored. Now as I was saying--it is true! But what was I saying? Oh, that's right! Here it is....almost...O.K.......

GWAR IS IN THE STUDIO AND WORKING ON A NEW ALBUM
That's right you calcified shit brick, we are back, back, back and forth, trapped in the smelly confines of our beloved Slave Pit Studios, forging the weapons for our latest sonic assault. What's it called? Who knows? When will it be out? Don't know that one either! But the important thing is that GWAR has re-assembled and is busy planning your doom. I throw down my worm-smeared gauntlet in challenge to all scoffers and naysayers--the power of GWAR is ETERNAL and that power feeds and festers in boundless malignancy--the more we try to ignore it the mightier it becomes! So quit yer crying. So what if we didn't tour this Halloween? When you're in GWAR, EVERY day is Halloween!!!!! Besides I'm sure there are plenty of scary clown bands for you to go check out. So what if we put out albums only semi-frequently? Too much partying over at Osama's place. But now that time is over. Back to the bloody business of annihilating the human race, or at least what's left of our careers. You want heavy? You'll get HEAVIER--our most savage and hateful noise-bath since our last savage and hateful noise-bath, and our most apocalyptic and body-fluid drenched tour soon to follow. So keep the filthy faith a little longer--GWAR will return in 2004, so sayest Oderus.

There are other, more mundane, yet equally banal, events on or beneath the horizon. Nov. 1st sees the opening of the "Art of GWAR" show at New Yorks Fuse Gallery. The show features 20 years of Slave Pit art and artists and is a must-see for any GWAR fan worth his farts. The boys are also working on some tracks for a new Cartoon Network show called "The Kids Next Door". They took "Gor-Gor" and "The Private Pain of Techno-Destructo" and got rid of the lyrics, then added new ones! Goes to show you just how low we will sink to get on TV! Just get rid of Oderus. Anything for the chance of maybe one day doing a GWAR show...dream on. The Sims/GWAR snowboards are also out now and the ad campaign to support them is awesome--check it out at The Sims Homepage. Another project that has been in the works for some time but is now finally getting funded is Bob Gorman's and Don Drakulich's "Dim Time" documentry. The to-be-released-next-year DVD is a collection of "dim" GWAR footage from the days of the very inception of the band--only the rarest of the rare footage and interviews with all the original GWAR members shall be used. Learn the legend of the Slutman Brothers. Hear Oderus play guitar (horrible)! The shit is absolutley hilarious and will be sure to delight old and new GWAR fans alike! Plus Matt Maguire has been working on a line of mini-figures with some Japanese toy company. Hopefully they will be out next year. So shit is starting to get rolling again, as it usually does...downhill and into your yearning mouths. Any Slymenstra sightings?

Stay tuned for more disgusting developments.

BEWARE HUMAN FILTH--THE NEW GWAR ALBUM IS THE SICKEST,
HEAVIEST, MOST METAL GWAR YET!
"VIOLENCE HAS ARRIVED"

THE MIND-FLAYING NEW ALBUM FROM GWAR, OUT NOW!!!
COVER ART BY ADRIAN SMITH (no, not the guy from Iron Maiden).

AND NOW WE TAKE YOU DIRECTLY TO SLAVE PIT CENTRAL
WHERE A SUPRISE ANNOUNCEMENT IS ABOUT TO BE DELIVERED BY
SLAVE PIT'S PRESS CORRESPONDENT "THE ROTTING ENTRAILS OF DICK COX",
TO AN OBEDIENT CROWD OF SHIPWRECKED CHILEAN WALRUS HANDLERS...

The Rotting Entrails of Dick Cox (a pile of rotting entrails)*: Ggggglllllh.....hgghllllr...rrrrg
uuuuurrrgggggg.......lllhlhh... (goes on for several hours).

Translated, it means simply this--GWAR is playing a limited number
of surprise Holiday gigs at a series of as-of-yet undisclosed locations--wait--OK, disclose them.

Jan. 3rd, 2004--9:30 Club, Washington D.C.

Support TBA

More dates may be added! So come join your blood-mad bestial overlords in a
festival of violence and debauchery that promises to befoul the seven cunts of Sheba!

*(of Dick Cox)

GWAR TOUR DIARY
"The Bitch is Back"
Halloween 2002

Here are some excerpts from my tour journal. This may be appearing in Metal Maniacs but just in case they lame out
I wanted to be sure that somebody else read it.

Here's the crew (actually this is from a different tour)